No 193 of Living Life Series 1
To die to self is a catch phrase or perhaps even the craze to show that the person concerned is doing the in-thing in life. They say we must die the old self with bad attributes in order to be reborn as a new self with good attributes. That however does not detract from the indisputable reality that there will be always be the self albeit in a different context or form.
The phrase 'die to self' unfortunately is a very strong and abrasive phrase and a very suicidal and negative one at that. It ignores the fact that in every man there is collection of good and not-so-good even if there be a renewed or reborn self. There are value systems, self-esteem, self-motivation and self accentuation which are good and necessary for progress, be it spiritual or other wise. Surely, there is no need to 'die' the self esteem, self motivation, the existing goodness and entrepreneurship or innovative streak in the old self but to grow such attributes of self.
A better phrase will be to 'better the self' and not 'die to self'.
Do not for any moment think that to be with God and Divinity of saints, we must 'die to self" and undergo suffering and penance so that we will be closer to Heaven. That will exactly drive us away from Heaven and in the opposite direction to Hell even on earth.
To die to self is sometimes a phrase coined by some men to bring more cohesion and adhesion of their following so that they will just have blind and undying allegiance like soldiers in the charge of the life brigade. Such a strategy if used as one of the many ways to hold a cohort as a whole is justifiable as one of the many temporary means to an end especially when the flock is in a society flout with disasters and predicaments of sorts. But beyond that temporary context, it will be self destructive and self derogatory.
Who ever says God wants us only if we do not want ourselves and if we inflict pain on ourselves. Who will ever say that the only way to Heaven is to put ourselves in pain and deny ourselves any goodness in life.
There are those who believe that in order to keep themselves on the spiritual path to be close to God, they must keep reminding themselves that God only loves them if they do not love themselves.
They think fatalistically that to be with God they must suffer as much as they can. So even though they scoff as ridiculous and absurd to undergo physical self torture e.g. self whipping, drinking poison, skewing themselves, they subconsciously do what they tell others not to do.
They invent new ways to distance themselves from earthly life so as to be near God. They feel that earthly life and blessings are impediments or barriers that distance them from God and saints. They refuse to harness and cultivate themselves in worldly sense as they wrongly believe that by so doing all these mean things to themselves, they are martyrs and they will win the favor of God. They literally undergo self-deprivation in the social, educational, occupational, and personal levels. How can they ever perceive that God will love them only if they do such mean things to themselves.
God loves us to want to see us love ourselves and surely we need to help and bless ourselves by not dying to self. It will certainly pain God to see us in pain. God is all loving and not sadist. Even the best of man cannot measure up to the goodness and love of God.
The other extreme opposite of dying to self is to die the others so that we can live more. That will be mean to others and we will need us to be as mean as or worse still to be meaner than the devil.
Even the real devils of hells have some godly goodness in them and that is why heavenly saints do try to reach out to the denizens of hell to appeal to the goodness in them so that they can have chance to be saints and leave hell.
There is need to balance as depicted by the seated image of Lord Bo Tien with feet balancing the two poles or elements. We should neither "die to self" nor " die the others" . Only then will we be right and divine and be with the peace and love of God and saints.
To put it simply. "Live and let live" and 'Love (ourselves) and be loved (by God and saints)'
Truth after all is that simple and yet difficult to perceive.
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