There is one view point of life which many must consider from time to time. How do we relate to others? Do we go all the way to please others or do we stay away and be aloof? The wise would just flow along but not be swept by the tide and be tossed around.
Talk only if needed. Avoid frivolity and gossip that will sow discord and that may be exciting somewhat for the present but will reflect adversely on us with time. Just let others talk and show interest where appropriate. People prefer to talk than to be talked to.
Often, people prefer to engage you than for you to engage them. They want good listeners and others as vent points and not you make vent points out of them. Others often want good listeners in you and want you to be receptive and not the other way round. Let this be food for thought.
Do you listen or expect others to listen? Who is likely to give himself away the listener or the talker? Perhaps you should strike the balance by being better at listening than talking. That way there will be more accord than discord with others.
A good leader, therapist or society man listens to others more than he expects others to listen to him. But he cannot be dumb or others will find him dull and boring company. He cannot talk more than listen or others may find him an irritant and noisy, a noise pollutant of sorts. This is the balanced approach as depicted by the seated image of Lord Bo Tien with both feet atop the elements. The point of balance does not need to be the middle point though.
We do need to engage prudently with others and with society and that will make us grow as individuals. But we need to do so correctly. Don't try to be needy and often that will put others on guard as to your intentions. Make others need us more than we need them.
After all, we must be asset to others in order for others to want to be with us. Often, we will then be pleasant company to others. This may seem discomforting but don't forget that the best asset is to be an asset to own self before one can be asset and be welcome by others.
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| In any aspect of life, there is of course the balance point for optimal effect but this need not be the average or middle point as depicted in seated image of the lord saint. Often, for equilibrium and peace this is not a fixed point but a shifting point |
After all, we must be asset to others in order for others to want to be with us. Often, we will then be pleasant company to others. This may seem discomforting but don't forget that the best asset is to be an asset to own self before one can be asset and be welcome by others.
Don't appear too needy and for the businessman, this is very true as often, he may end up losing a deal. But if the businessman's clientele needs him more than he needs them, then more deals will be forthcoming and come to him.
The same applies to friendship. Make others want you more and more friends you will have. Focus on the interests of others and that will make others open up with you. Do not rattle way with your own interests or worst still with your problems. That will put off others who may find you too emotional and they will not want to be taken on a emotional roller coaster ride with your personal issues.
Be a candle to light up and attract others to you. Be a beacon of truth of life to others. This is what Lord Bo Tien said. You must somehow light up their lives and they will come round you.
In short, don't be needy. Make it the other way round. Others must need us more. But do not crave and expect too much. Go easy and be at peace with what you can have when relating with others.
Look at the pluses in any aspect of your life, be it work, friendship etc, and there will be cheer. Look at the minus points, and the plus points seem to be not there. Then misery you will end up with, even if your life is nine pluses out of ten. Do feel good and be at peace.
Let God and saints enable your life. Your life is like a lemon tree. You can have lemon but you must be at peace so that you can have water and sugar from God to have the lemonade of life. Do not crave for the pluses you are yet to have. Be at peace and trust your life to God and be thankful for the many pluses you already have. But rave not over the pluses though but treasure them in quiet and calm way.
The greatest plus is the chance to learn, to make good and to move on in life. Crave and rave are best be kept at bay if we have our way. We must move on, to feel life and the joy of just living and be at peace come what may. Don't crave or rave but do not stop moving in life. That will be to stave off life and to stop living even when still alive.
Neither crave or rave nor stave off life. Then optimal balance you will have and peace you will have ever more when you are attuned to God and saints by neither fighting with life nor leaving life but ever at ease with life. God bless.
Crave --- to have an intense desire for
Rave --- to talk wildly, as in delirium.
to talk with extravagant enthusiasm
Rave --- to talk wildly, as in delirium.
to talk with extravagant enthusiasm
Stave off - to put off or to keep off, as by force or evasion
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