The people we meet, work and live with are often a reflection of that many bits that are part of ourselves. But these people may not be those we like but those we can live and work with even if at times we find them wanting. They are in a way mirror a wee bit of ourselves. Otherwise there will not be any affinity and we will keep our distance from them.
The Lord Buddha has more to say about friendship, kinship and relationships. "Associate with the wise. Do not associate with the fools. Honour those who are worthy of honour." In Pali this stanza reads thus, "Asevana cha balanang. Panditanang cha sevana. Puja cha ye balanang. Etang mangala mutamang." These are the first of 38 blessings he listed in the Mangala Sutra -- the Discourse on Blessings.
Subconsciously or as though intuitively we can can only interact with others with some semblance of our individual self. It would be better if there is more common ground. Hopefully the common ground is wholesome somewhat. Otherwise, if they are not, then our social network will accentuate the unwholesomeness in us. Birds of the same feathers flock together.
Thus if we associate with fools and indulge in ungainly ways that harm not only others but in the end will harm ourselves, we will have more downfall and pitfalls in life.
Often we look up to a few and idolise them for their abilities, leadership and feel dejected if they are not happy with us. This is because such people represent the ideal that we want or are the epitome of that bits of us which we hope we could enhance manyfold.
But do remember that our associates in our social circles are like us made up of various aspects of personality --- the passive and active, what the sages of old refer to as the yin and yang. We cannot go for one or few aspects without being affected by the other aspects we find unpleasant or which we can do without. We have to accept our associates and friends for what they are but must not feel let down or allow them to mar our peace of life. To put it simply we need to have to balance the various aspects of life that our associates or social network present to us in life.
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| The Ba gua |
Thus the Bagua symbol of the Tao Sages does stress on the roundness and perfect harmony of the yin and yang of life. Lord Bo Tien in his seated image personifies the need to do so with his feet atop and balancing the elements of life.
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| Lord Bo Tien |
In social circles, we need to have friends and associates who mirror hopefully the better bits of us but we must accept our friends for what they are. There are other aspects of them which we have to reckon with. We cannot expect our friends to be our replicas. We cannot run away from the various aspects in them but need to be atop and in harmony with all aspects of them -- what sages refer to as the harmony of yin and yang as depicted by the Bagua and the image of Lord Bo Tien.
Our social circles are reflections of ourselves, our aspirations and our frustrations. Others can have better idea of us through knowing the type of social circles we are in.
Thus in one of the earlier anniversary mission day messages, the lord saint Lord Bo Tien reminded that we can learn from life our own and from the lives of others. We can know ourselves better by knowing others better. The converse too is true. We can know others better if we know ourselves better, both the strengths and weaknesses.
Thus in one of the earlier anniversary mission day messages, the lord saint Lord Bo Tien reminded that we can learn from life our own and from the lives of others. We can know ourselves better by knowing others better. The converse too is true. We can know others better if we know ourselves better, both the strengths and weaknesses.
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