Respect for elders and parents in religions?

No 1399 of Living Life Series 1

Are we game enough to take part in the culture of others? This is good and wholesome so long as we continue in the culture we are brought up in. But the problem comes when some bright sparks insist we change to their culture and disown our own. 

This is exactly going on and will create dis-ease and disquiet. By all means do what others do, when we are in their culture or religion. But do not bring home that culture or religion and tell our home that we no longer want to be in the culture or religious practices of the home. 

Worse still is when we tell the home that our father is the one above and this means that our father on Earth is of secondary significance. We listen to the bidding of the father above and relegate our father at home to the backstage. 

Isn't that giving no proper respect to our elders. If we can be so unreliable in respecting the elders at home and family, how trustworthy are we in respecting the father above. It is more probable that we only respect our own self and we are making the excuse of God as the father as the way not to do what our elders and father want us to do. 

Then our children will grow up the same way and when this happens, they break away at the earliest opportunity to live on their own if not married or set up nuclear family if married. 

What happens to respect for family and elders? There is then disintegration of big extended family support to no family support. To each his own becomes real and this the sages of old regard as unwise and uncivilised. 

Has civilisation create ego and self-centered monsters out of us? We sow what we reap and we will end up reaping loneliness and isolation in the long run. 

Even the stand-in extended family in the form of social fellowship and cell groups in a house of worship will not last as time passes. In time to come, the younger people do not join in the same cell groups or fellowship. One day our own self group will be not effective and die a natural death. 

That is why Bo Tien 武 天 like the saints of all cultures and religions stresses on need for respect for elders. Respect for elders is the foundation of all religions.

Respect for elders is the pillar of life and must begin at home. Family comes first. Family fellowship is the base. 

Do not ditch the family and elders in the name of religion or God. Respect for elders at home is the cornerstone of religiosity. 

Religion goes to the dogs if there is no respect for elders of family. Live with the family if you are truly a man of God and saints. Breaking and staying away from elders in family makes us far though we may be near and frequent a house of God. Bo Tien 武 天 says the near can be far.

If we break from the elders in the family and stay apart from them, how likely are we to break away even from a house of God or a nation we belong to? 

We will end up as liabilities to not only family but to religion and to the nation - all because we pay lip service to the respect for elders. We respect and care only for our self.

Respect for elders is the foundation of family, society, religion and nation. Respect for elders is the cornerstone of life religious and otherwise. 

The Buddha says our home and family is the first temple and our parents the first gods. Respect for elders is the foundation of all religions. 

Perhaps values have changed with time. We want instead to stress on our privacy and our own needs. We serve our own needs and if others come in the way, then we cannot help it. We act as though we are the first gods to be respected and adored by ourselves. 

There are other ways to handle and help elders and parents. We need to leave them alone and this is even what they want. We help them only when necessary. Sometimes we leave then in retirement homes or in nursing homes. That is what they want not like their counterparts in the days of old. 

That is the reality but this is how society flows along downstream. If we are to go back to the old days as stated above, we have to swim against the current and flow upstream. This was mentioned by Bo Tien 武 天. 

But Bo Tien 武 天 would not say so without a reason. He even encouraged setting up of homes for the destitute few but not for those who can be with their families or live on their own. For the latter two categories, he encouraged distribution of weekly free rations or meals. 

There are thus two ways of looking after parents and elders as described above in this post. 

One is to stay with them even when married and the other is to stay apart from them and visit them periodically. 

A cross between the two is to stay part of the week with them and if married children can do so in turns, there will always be a grown up married child with grandchildren with the parents and elders every day of the week. 

This is perhaps a sort of yin yang balance or hybrid of the two ways described earlier. Yin yang balance makes life work and makes the world go round. 

Bo Tien 武 天 reminds us of the need for yin yang balance to be right and to have peace in self, family and society regardless of our religious, racial or cultural background.

But the worst scenario and unthinkable is to be away from parents and elders and not talking to them or visiting them at all. 

Some let parents and elders stay with them but ill-treat them. They are like some animals who kill their parents and elders once they grow up. They want more space for themselves. They don't even want to live with parents - let alone care for them. 

Those who rear hamsters as pets will know this. But we are humans - not animals or hamsters. 

Whatever the life situations, there will always be a suitable and better means to respect elders and parents. There is no excuse for not doing so and no excuse for doing better. 

This respect and care for elders is the beginning, the middle and the end of what divine love and compassion is all about. Bo Tien 武 天  reminds all regardless of religions on this. 

Buddhists refer to this as loving kindness. Loving kindness is not just to love our own life but others around and must start with the close ones and extend outwards to society and eventually to the world. 

Not to do so this way and to boast of helping others far away while neglecting kin and friends is not loving kindness but hypocrisy. Be mindful of this. 

But many are like that. They want praises and acclaim. They are not sincere but Bo Tien 武 天 says that what they do is still good but not as good as should be. These people will still be blessed to some extent in the good they do but the good is finite and limited. This is regrettable and we should feel sorry for them. 

Thus there are some who go to churches and temples to do good, to care for others, say in their cell or care groups. They spend more time there and leave their parents and elders at home. 

They should take steps to correct this and find yin yang balance. Charity or care begins at home. Have we cared for ourselves and our parents and family adequately? If not, then why spend time and resources to care for others and neglecting family, elders and parents? 

Society somehow tends to end up this way. How good can this be, even if there is good? But of course, it is better than nothing - not doing any good at all.